TIARAS TEARS AND TRIUMPHS with SANDY J Podcast - Helping Victims and Survivors of Abusive Relationships Heal and Grow
Ep 40 - Getting through the other side with Love, Hope and Faith

Ep 40 - Getting through the other side with Love, Hope and Faith

April 11, 2021

EPISODE NOTES FOR THE ROSALINE NTERVIEW

LEARNING TO LET THE FEAR BOUNCE WITH PTSD

On today’s show I have a survivor who is speaking on air for the first time about her experiences and what she has learnt as a survivor of an abusive relationship.

It takes great courage to speak about our experiences with abuse and for many different reasons many victims and survivors of abuse choose never to speak about the things they have endured.

But Rosaline decided to accept my offer to come onto the podcast as a guest because she wants others to be inspired by her message to use your voice to reach out and get the support to help you be ok.

Tune in to hear her quiet heartfelt wisdom.

Remember that every day is a new day and a new opportunity to move in the direction of your dreams. Every day is a clean slate to start fresh.

So, hang in there and keep striving to regain your personal power.

For anyone interested in getting some coaching support or energetic healing to help heal your life and get your life back on track, please contact me.

I work online via zoom face to face calls, which allows you the flexibility to work with me wherever you happen to be located and wherever you are comfortable to have private confidential conversations.

If you would love to get unstuck and know deep down you will achieve far more by getting the support of a transformational coach, I would love to help you get your life back on the right track.

If you want to fast track your journey to triumph over your trials, click this link 

Here are the top tips of today’s episode:

  • In life some things are in our control and some things that happen to us are not in our control, and what our aim can be is when life feels unmanageable is to do our best to to manage our responsibilities to the best of our abilities.
  • As women we are strong and we feel we have to have it all together all of the time, but when we are faced with challenges and life gets messy, it is good to remember that there is real strength in seeking support. Remember the age old saying "Many hands make light work". We can accomplish more with the right support.
  • To keep as much of your power when you are going through tough times, try to see the difference between the things that are in your control and the things that are not. This way you can focus your energy on the things that are in your control and detach from the things which are not, helping you to conserve your energy for the things which will make a difference to you and your situation.
  • When you feel you have the ability to control some aspects of your life this can give you the peace and the strength and the hope to keep going in challenging times. So try and focus on anything, no matter how small that is still within your control.
  • When looking for someone to support you in what you are going through, find a confidante who has experience with what you are going through, who can relate and understand, and can help you work out the steps you need to take to navigate a way through to the other side.
  • You can measure the value of what someone else is pouring into your life by the strength that you gain from their support. You may find that someone who is only able to give you pity leaves you feeling as powerless as ever. Whereas someone who shows you understanding and is able to ask you the right questions to help you discover the answers inside yourself leaves you feeling strong and optimistic about facing your challenges.
  • Your subconscious mind is led by your emotions and when you are feeling scared and depressed, your subconscious mind responds to this and you continue to flounder and feel disempowered. With a strong mindset on what you want instead of what you have, and the right strategies to change what your subconscious mind is trained to believe from your experiences, you can rise above your challenges and create a path to take you to where you want to go.
  • Change does not happen instantaneously, it is a process and the more we accept this and allow ourselves time for changes to manifest in our lives the more we allow the flow of good and new opportunities to appear in our lives.
  • Fear can protect you and it can hold you back from taking action to take back your power. This is a great time to reach out for support to help you identify the things that will help you navigate a path to safety and to freedom and to clarify what is real and perceived fear in your life and your situation. 
  • Try practising mindfulness and guided meditation to help you find a place of calm which will help you to make reasoned choices about making changes which will help you and the situation you are in.
  • It is important to find the courage to use your voice to reach out and ask for help. Even though fear of what other people may think about you may be making you feel too vulnerable to speak about the challenges you are going through, it is so important to push past those feelings and reach out and get help. If you feel too afraid to speak to people who are close to you, speak to an online domestic violence counselling service, or speak to your dr, or speak to the police, or speak to someone like me. I offer a call with no charge, my gift to those who would like me help, so that nothing will stand in the way of anyone reaching out and getting support. 
  • When you don't have strength yourself, know your go to's for strength, whether that is talking to a trusted friend, or your your faith, or your children. Use those things to draw strength from to persevere in challenging times. 
  • To step back into your power engage in the healing relationship with yourself. Give yourself back the value in yourself that you truly deserve and your life and choices for your highest good will become more clear.
  • Its easy to blame yourself for some of the things that have happened to you in your life, but this is the time to understand that our mistakes are opportunities for our growth and our own healing. 
  • Learning to love yourself will give you the freedom to make choices in line with your highest good and lead you to a life you love.

I hope this interview inspires you to rise and shine.

Subscribe. Enjoy. Share. Sending love and light, Sandy J

CAUTION: If you feel unsafe at any time please STOP LISTENING. You can come back anytime you are in a safe place to listen to the rest of the Podcast. YOUR SAFETY is the most important thing to consider.

If you are in immediate DANGER call the Police.

NOTE OF ENCOURAGEMENT: If you are struggling with your metal health please reach out for support with some form of counselling, therapy, or coaching.  If you don’t know where to start to find a counsellor, a good place to start is to talk to your Doctor. There are also many online counselling supports now available. If the Support Person is not a good fit for you, try another and another, until you have one that is the right fit for you. And don't forget, I help women to heal and grow, and help them to meet their challenges head on, to move towards a life they love. 

BEFORE YOU GO….

  • If you listen to the Podcast and you like it, please SUBSCRIBE, you will automatically be updated with new episodes as soon as they are available.

 

  • If you like the episode, please leave a REVIEW for other people to know that this has value.

 

  • If you know of anyone you think this Podcast might help, please SHARE it.
  • To get a COMPLIMENTARY DISCOVER CALL, click this link 
  • To get an ENERGETIC HEALING session with me, click this link 

 

  • To get a ONE on ONE COACHING DISCOVER CALL with Sandy, click this link 

 

  • Come join us to be a part of the Private Rise Up with Tiaras Tears and Triumphs Facebook Group click this link

 

Until next time, stay well and stay safe.

Sending you love, light, peace and joy,

 

Sandy J

 

Ep 39- A New Life and a New Beginning can be possible for you!

Ep 39- A New Life and a New Beginning can be possible for you!

April 4, 2021

EASTER EPISODE

ACCESS YOUR FREE GIFT OF AFFIRMATIONS FOR A NEW LIFE HERE

CLICK HERE

You know my aim is to help you rise to your highest value.

This episode is being launched in Easter 2021.

The focus of this episode is based on the theme of Easter for NEW LIFE and NEW BEGINNINGS.

There are many reasons why victims and survivors of abuse may feel held back from trying to create a new life for themselves of to try and start over.

This episode explores why and what holds us back and explores why it is necessary to let parts of ourselves die to allow room for new life to be created.

It is possible to create a new life and a new beginning.

It will take courage and you will fast track your success by getting the right support and encouragement to help you realise your dreams and aspirations.

This whole month is focused on NEW LIFE.

The affirmations created for this month focus on helping you create a new life with the right mindset.

You can choose affirmations which resonate with you.

Write two or three affirmations down for the month and say them in front of the mirror in the morning.

The more feeling you put into it when you say the affirmations the more you will integrate this into yourself and your vibration.

Use the link above to receive all of April's affirmations and to be on the mailing list to receive new affirmations every month for 2021.

And you may also wish to access  a FREE GUIDED MEDITATION for LOVE & ABUNDANCE.

ACCESS YOUR FREE GIFT OF GUIDED MEDITATION FOR LOVE & ABUNDANCE HERE

CLICK HERE

This meditation is designed to heal the subconscious mind to allow the flow of love and abundance into your life.

If you have been hurt by someone you love, this can not only break your heart, but also break your trust in the good in people, opportunities and things.

The natural response of the subconscious mind is to give you whatever you believe to be true.

If you believe that opportunities for love and abundance are for other people and not for you, because your experience has taught you this, then your subconscious mind will help you create this belief in your reality.

The first step to stopping this cycle and starting something new is to actively engage with your healing.

There are many things you can do to go about creating a new paradigm, but the one that I am offering today in the form of a guided meditation speaks directly to the subconscious mind to begin changing the story that your past experiences have led your subconscious mind to believe.

It is my aim to help you rewrite your story to allow your heart to heal and your mind to feel at peace so that you can be fully open to give and receive love and abundance in all its forms.

TOP TIPS AND TAKEAWAYS

 

  • I am ready for miracles to flow into my life
  • I trust that I am on the right path
  • I choose the path to my highest good
  • I put energy into things that matter for me
  • I am creatively inspired by the world around me
  • All things are working out for my highest good
  • I am worthy of my desires
  • Things are always working out for me
  • I am grateful for all that I have and for what I will accomplish

Subscribe. Enjoy. Share. Sending love and light, Sandy J

CAUTION: If you feel unsafe at any time please STOP LISTENING. You can come back anytime you are in a safe place to listen to the rest of the Podcast. YOUR SAFETY is the most important thing to consider.

If you are in immediate DANGER call the Police.

NOTE OF ENCOURAGEMENT: If you are struggling with your metal health please reach out for support with some form of counselling, therapy, or coaching.  If you don’t know where to start to find a counsellor, a good place to start is to talk to your Doctor. There are also many online counselling supports now available. If the Support Person is not a good fit for you, try another and another, until you have one that is the right fit for you. And don't forget, I help women to heal and grow, and help them to meet their challenges head on, to move towards a life they love. 

BEFORE YOU GO….

  • If you listen to the Podcast and you like it, please SUBSCRIBE, you will automatically be updated with new episodes as soon as they are available.

 

  • If you like the episode, please leave a REVIEW for other people to know that this has value.

 

  • If you know of anyone you think this Podcast might help, please SHARE it.

 

  • If you want to CONNECT or DO SOME COACHING OR HEALING WORK with me, or approach me to share your story and your message click this link 

 

  • If you want to be a part of the Private Rise Up with Tiaras Tears and Triumphs Facebook Group click this link

 

Until next time, stay well and stay safe.

Sending you love, light, peace and joy,

 

Sandy J

 

Ep 37 - PTSD Learning to Let Fear Bounce

Ep 37 - PTSD Learning to Let Fear Bounce

April 3, 2021

EPISODE NOTES FOR THE KIM LENGLING INTERVIEW

LEARNING TO LET THE FEAR BOUNCE WITH PTSD

On today’s show I have a survivor who is on a similar path to my own, Kim Lengling, who is   using her words and her voice to give other victims and survivors hope for a life on the other side of abuse.  

As someone who lives with PTSD, she found that writing and sharing her story helps to lift some of the weight of memories, but also gives an opportunity for others who hear her story to be able to resonate with it.

Her hope is that spark of light that she shines using her voice and her words can provide that hope that is needed, to realize others going through similar challenges are not alone.

And at the heart of it, for others to realize they are worthy and beautiful and strong.

Residing in Pennsylvania, USA, Kim Lengling is the mother to a grown daughter and her rescue dog, Dexter.

She is a published co-author of three collaborative books and the sole author a book to be released this year entitle Imperfect Masterpiece.

Additionally, she is the lead author and coordinator of a collaborative 3-book series titled When Grace Found Me, with Volume One recently released in December of 2020 and Volume Two to be released in late Spring.

With empathy and emotion, she has been writing since 2004 showcasing her faith, nature, love of rescue animals, and living with PTSD.

She is the host of the newly launched podcast Let Fear Bounce, inviting guests to share their stories of letting go of or working through fears and shedding light and hope to her listeners.

In this episode we talk about the journey of people who experience trauma and ways in which they might be able to get onto a path of healing from the trauma.

Remember that every day is a new day and a new opportunity to move in the direction of your dreams. Every day is a clean slate to start fresh.

So, hang in there and keep striving to regain your personal power.

For anyone interested in getting some coaching support or energetic healing to help heal your life and get your life back on track, please contact me.

I work online via zoom face to face calls, which allows you the flexibility to work with me wherever you happen to be located and wherever you are comfortable to have private confidential conversations.

If you would love to get unstuck and know deep down you will achieve far more by getting the support of a transformational coach, I would love to help you get your life back on the right track.

If you want to fast track your journey to triumph over your trials, click this link 

Here are the top tips of today’s episode:

  • When you are hurt it is a natural response to build a wall of defence, but the wall of defence that you build when you experience trauma will crack at some point, to enable you to release and let go of the weight of what you have been carrying.
  • Sometimes you have to break to bloom into who you are actually supposed to be.
  • Breaking points can be pivotal turning points in life to change direction to be able to transform.
  • Making a conscious choice not to identify as a victim can help you become more empowered.
  • You don’t have to be alone, with all the pain and brokenness that you might be feeling. There are other’s who can relate to what you are thinking and feeling in those moments who can and want to help and support you.
  • Claim what you want to be, do and so for you and your life. If you want to be a source of inspiration for others claim it. If you want to be a source of positivity claim it. If you want to be a source of laughter and joy for others, claim it.
  • You are not meant to live in the dark, you are strong and beautiful. There is strength and beauty in the storm.
  • Don’t try and calm the storm, try to calm yourself until the storm passes.
  • It is easy to become a victim of circumstance when someone else has been exerting control over you and your life, and it is easy to lose sight that you still have the ability to choose something else for yourself and for your life.
  • Learning how to let go of things which do not serve us and our highest good can take a long time. When we realise that we are giving all of our anger and frustration power, we can make a conscious choice to let go of that and choose something positive instead.
  • We are all good at wearing a mask, but there is power in taking your mask off and sharing your most vulnerable self with someone you trust.
  • You are a warrior, warriors wear armour, so remember to put your armour on to protect you from adversity. This might mean knowing when to say NO to a circumstance, a mindset, or a person.
  • Try not be hard on yourself, try to be kind to yourself.
  • You are worthy, you are worth receiving help and support, you are worth being treated well, you are worthy of love, you are worthy of self-care and self-love.
  • To find a place of peace, get out into nature as much as possible, it will do wonders for your nervous system. There is beauty and peace to be found in nature.
  • There is a difference between real and perceived fear and when you suffer from PTSD it can be difficult to discern between what is real and what is perceived fear. I have some strategies to help with this which I will go into more depth on in another episode, but if you struggle with this you could try writing a list of your fears and put a number between 0 – 10 with 0 being no foundation for the fear and 10 being the fear being very real. Rate your fears in black and white and it will help you differentiate between what is real and what is perceived, and it will help you focus your energy on the real threats and stop worrying about those which are nothing more than a perception.
  • Writing is cathartic and empowering. There are great benefits to journaling for those who suffer from PTSD. Don’t worry about what comes out, just allow words to come out of you onto paper. It is an exercise in allowing things which might otherwise be repressed to come out. In time your journal can also show a path of awareness, growth and development.
  • You are stronger than you think.

 

If you would like to contact Kim Lengling please use the links below.

Website: https://www.kimlenglingauthor.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.lengling

Linkedin:  http://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberlylengling/

 

I hope this interview inspires you to rise and shine.

Subscribe. Enjoy. Share. Sending love and light, Sandy J

CAUTION: If you feel unsafe at any time please STOP LISTENING. You can come back anytime you are in a safe place to listen to the rest of the Podcast. YOUR SAFETY is the most important thing to consider.

If you are in immediate DANGER call the Police.

NOTE OF ENCOURAGEMENT: If you are struggling with your metal health please reach out for support with some form of counselling, therapy, or coaching.  If you don’t know where to start to find a counsellor, a good place to start is to talk to your Doctor. There are also many online counselling supports now available. If the Support Person is not a good fit for you, try another and another, until you have one that is the right fit for you. And don't forget, I help women to heal and grow, and help them to meet their challenges head on, to move towards a life they love. 

BEFORE YOU GO….

  • If you listen to the Podcast and you like it, please SUBSCRIBE, you will automatically be updated with new episodes as soon as they are available.

 

  • If you like the episode, please leave a REVIEW for other people to know that this has value.

 

  • If you know of anyone you think this Podcast might help, please SHARE it.
  • To get a COMPLIMENTARY DISCOVER CALL, click this link 
  • To get an ENERGETIC HEALING session with me, click this link 

 

  • To get a ONE on ONE COACHING DISCOVER CALL with Sandy, click this link 

 

  • Come join us to be a part of the Private Rise Up with Tiaras Tears and Triumphs Facebook Group click this link

 

Until next time, stay well and stay safe.

Sending you love, light, peace and joy,

 

Sandy J

 

Ep 38 - How to attract more love and abundance

Ep 38 - How to attract more love and abundance

April 3, 2021

FREE GIFT

LOVE & ABUNDANCE 

GUIDED MEDITATION

ACCESS YOUR FREE GIFT HERE

CLICK HERE

You know my aim is to help you rise to your highest value.

That is why I have created a FREE GUIDED MEDITATION for LOVE & ABUNDANCE.

This meditation is designed to heal the subconscious mind to allow the flow of love and abundance into your life.

If you have been hurt by someone you love, this can not only break your heart, but also break your trust in the good in people, opportunities and things.

The natural response of the subconscious mind is to give you whatever you believe to be true.

If you believe that opportunities for love and abundance are for other people and not for you, because your experience has taught you this, then your subconscious mind will help you create this belief in your reality.

The first step to stopping this cycle and starting something new is to actively engage with your healing.

There are many things you can do to go about creating a new paradigm, but the one that I am offering today in the form of a guided meditation speaks directly to the subconscious mind to begin changing the story that your past experiences have led your subconscious mind to believe.

It is my aim to help you rewrite your story to allow your heart to heal and your mind to feel at peace so that you can be fully open to give and receive love and abundance in all its forms.

TOP TIPS AND TAKEAWAYS

Here are some good reasons to meditate and practise mindfulness

Some of the emotional benefits of meditation include:

Gaining a new perspective on stressful situations.

Building skills to manage your stress.

Increasing self-awareness.

Keeping you grounded and focusing on the present.

Reducing negative emotions.

Increasing imagination and creativity.

Increasing patience and tolerance.

And meditation has been linked to larger amounts of gray matter in the hippocampus areas of the brain. What this means is that the more grey matter, the more this can lead to positive emotions, longer lasting emotional stability and an increased ability to focus during daily life.

When we focus on our present in practising mindfulness, it helps us not to waste precious energy worrying about the future and feeling hurt by the past, which gives us more energy to deal with whatever challenges we are currently facing.

Which leads to feeling less stressed, anxious and depressed.

Which leads to greater focus.

Which leads to being more grounded and feeling more secure.

Which leads to more objectivity.

Which leads to greater creativity.

Which leads to more emotional stability.

Which leads to better relationships.

Which leads to greater productivity.

Which leads to a sense of satisfaction, purpose and accomplishment.

The real question is not Why practise meditation and mindfulness, it is Why wouldn’t you practise meditation and mindfulness when the benefits are so great for yourself and all who you encounter.

  •  

Subscribe. Enjoy. Share. Sending love and light, Sandy J

CAUTION: If you feel unsafe at any time please STOP LISTENING. You can come back anytime you are in a safe place to listen to the rest of the Podcast. YOUR SAFETY is the most important thing to consider.

If you are in immediate DANGER call the Police.

NOTE OF ENCOURAGEMENT: If you are struggling with your metal health please reach out for support with some form of counselling, therapy, or coaching.  If you don’t know where to start to find a counsellor, a good place to start is to talk to your Doctor. There are also many online counselling supports now available. If the Support Person is not a good fit for you, try another and another, until you have one that is the right fit for you. And don't forget, I help women to heal and grow, and help them to meet their challenges head on, to move towards a life they love. 

BEFORE YOU GO….

  • If you listen to the Podcast and you like it, please SUBSCRIBE, you will automatically be updated with new episodes as soon as they are available.

 

  • If you like the episode, please leave a REVIEW for other people to know that this has value.

 

  • If you know of anyone you think this Podcast might help, please SHARE it.

 

  • If you want to CONNECT or DO SOME COACHING OR HEALING WORK with me, or approach me to share your story and your message click this link 

 

  • If you want to be a part of the Private Rise Up with Tiaras Tears and Triumphs Facebook Group click this link

 

Until next time, stay well and stay safe.

Sending you love, light, peace and joy,

 

Sandy J

 

Ep 36 - Do you know where high performers gain strength from?

Ep 36 - Do you know where high performers gain strength from?

March 14, 2021

EPISODE NOTES FOR THE BRUCE SANCHEZ INTERVIEW

Do you know where high performers gain strength from?

On today’s show I have the remarkable Bruce Sanchez, a survivor, of overcomer of abuse as a child.

Bruce shares his journey through his childhood experience to the addiction he formed in his early adulthood to help him have the confidence to deal with life and try and cope with the pain of the past.

Bruce is very candid in sharing how he had to hit rock bottom before he turned to others for help and support to help him get on a path to recovery.

His dedication to his recovery has seen many positive transformations in his life. 

He is a, Black Belt 3rd DAN (degree) in Krav Maga, which is the World's most aggressive, hardest and most effective Self Defence and is also a CERT (Centre Emergency Response Team) member in (Prisons) and is now one of the 900 worldwide Certified High Performance Coaches by the High Performance Institute (Brendon Burchard) - guiding Executives, Corporations & Entrepreneurs to improve their performance by going through the world's best High Performance Coaching Program.

He found his strength in allowing himself to first be completely authentic and vulnerable in his pain. 

Wherever you are on your journey, none of what is contained in this message is to here to make you feel bad about yourself, there are no judgments.

This podcast aims to remind you of how precious you are and that you deserve to feel safe, secure, and loved in a relationship.

How much potential lies within you to be able to overcome the most extraordinary circumstances. 

Remember that every day is a new day and a new opportunity to move in the direction of your dreams. Every day is a clean slate to start fresh.

So, hang in there and keep striving to regain your personal power.

For anyone interested in getting some coaching support or energetic healing to help heal your life and get your life back on track, please contact me.

I work online via zoom face to face calls, which allows you the flexibility to work with me wherever you happen to be located and wherever you are comfortable to have private confidential conversations.

If you would love to get unstuck and know deep down you will achieve far more by getting the support of a transformational coach, I would love to help you get your life back on the right track.

If you want to fast track your journey to triumph over your trials, click this link 

Here are the top tips of today’s episode:

  • Everything in life is an experience with something of value to take away from it.
  • When it comes to addictions, the problem is not the addiction itself, the problem is much much deeper.
  •  It takes great courage to be authentic about your life when your life is unmanageable.
  • There is great power in being vulnerable to ask for help and support.
  • We may not see it at the time, but we have all the answers within.
  • We become empowered when we are responsible for what we think, what we do and what we say.
  • Transformation comes through transition and transition can be hard. But if you want to transform you need to be prepared to put in the work to go through the transition.
  • Trust that you have what it takes go through that transition to get the transformation you want.
  • Sometimes pain can be a catalyst to transformation, and when you are prepared to work through it, there can be a great lesson to be gained from it.
  •  We become empowered when we become disciplined in doing what is most effective to help us move through a transitional phase in our life to the transformation we are seeking.

If you would like to contact Bruce Sanchez please use the links below.

Website: brucesanchez.coach

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachbrucesanchez

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chpcbrucesanchez/

 

I hope this interview inspires you to rise and shine.

Subscribe. Enjoy. Share. Sending love and light, Sandy J

CAUTION: If you feel unsafe at any time please STOP LISTENING. You can come back anytime you are in a safe place to listen to the rest of the Podcast. YOUR SAFETY is the most important thing to consider.

If you are in immediate DANGER call the Police.

NOTE OF ENCOURAGEMENT: If you are struggling with your metal health please reach out for support with some form of counselling, therapy, or coaching.  If you don’t know where to start to find a counsellor, a good place to start is to talk to your Doctor. There are also many online counselling supports now available. If the Support Person is not a good fit for you, try another and another, until you have one that is the right fit for you. And don't forget, I help women to heal and grow, and help them to meet their challenges head on, to move towards a life they love. 

BEFORE YOU GO….

  • If you listen to the Podcast and you like it, please SUBSCRIBE, you will automatically be updated with new episodes as soon as they are available.

 

  • If you like the episode, please leave a REVIEW for other people to know that this has value.

 

  • If you know of anyone you think this Podcast might help, please SHARE it.
  • To get a COMPLIMENTARY DISCOVER CALL, click this link 
  • To get an ENERGETIC HEALING session with me, click this link 
  • To get a ONE on ONE COACHING CONSULTING session with me, click this link 

 

  • Come join us to be a part of the Private Rise Up with Tiaras Tears and Triumphs Facebook Group click this link

 

Until next time, stay well and stay safe.

Sending you love, light, peace and joy,

 

Sandy J

Ep 35 -Why Princesses don’t need to be rescued by a knight in shining armour

Ep 35 -Why Princesses don’t need to be rescued by a knight in shining armour

March 7, 2021

EPISODE NOTES FOR THE NAOMI BROWN INTERVIEW

WHY VICTIMS CAN'T HEAL WHEN THEY STAY IN THE PLACE THAT KEEPS THEM SICK

On today’s show I have the lovely Naomi Brown, a survivor, turned thriver from Endinburgh, Scotland.

Naomi has turned her pain from breaking free from a history of abuse into her purpose, as she now works as a transformative coach and a business consultant. 

She is doing a remarkable job on her healing and recovery journey and now hosts her own Facebook Live - Warrior Wednesdays.

In every interview I ask the guest what the title Tiaras Tears and Triumphs means to them, and every answer has it's own take on this question.

Naomis is a wonderful perception of what this means for her, she is a true warrior in every sense of the word. When she answered this question about the podcast title, part of what she said was that when she was young, she felt like a princess waiting to be rescued by a knight in shining armour. Now she is a woman she feels that she has reached the understanding that if she needs rescuing, she needs to come to her own aid and not wait around to be rescued by someone else.

She realises that she holds the power, she needs to change her life and her destiny. 

I absolutely loved this conversation and apologise for some glitches with the sound. 

Wherever you are on your journey, none of what is contained in this message is to here to make you feel bad about yourself, there are no judgments.

This podcast aims to remind you of how precious you are and that you deserve to feel safe, secure, and loved in a relationship.

Remember that every day is a new day and a new opportunity to move in the direction of your dreams. Every day is a clean slate to start fresh.

So, hang in there and keep striving to regain your personal power.

For anyone interested in getting some coaching support or energetic healing to help heal your life and get your life back on track, please contact me.

I work online via zoom face to face calls, which allows you the flexibility to work with me wherever you happen to be located and wherever you are comfortable to have private confidential conversations.

If you would love to get unstuck and know deep down you will achieve far more by getting the support of a transformational coach, I would love to help you get your life back on the right track.

If you want to fast track your journey to triumph over your trials, click this link 

Here are the top tips of today’s episode:

  •  Life is a not a linear journey, there will be ups and downs and twists and turns along the way
  • You cannot heal in the place that keeps you sick, you may reach a plateau, but the toxic person will keep holding you back from healing.
  • Your plan of escape from the cycle of abuse needs to be suited to you and not anyone else
  • Take your power from your purpose. The purpose you have to have a good life, to be treated with respect and dignity can be the power which helps give you the strength and determination to get through your challenges.
  • Recovery is a process, it might be hard right now, but one day it gets easier and easier.
  • You just need to be yourself in life, not something someone else tells you they think you need to be.
  • When your trust has been broken it is good to remember to treat everyone by their own merit. Not everyone is a good egg or a bad egg.
  • Recovery can truly be found when we grasp that life is not happening to us, but it is happening for us.
  • Listen to your gut, especially when our gut has been feeling uneasy for awhile. You may be have listening to your heart and ignoring that uneasy feeling in your gut. This is the time to speak to someone who works in domestic abuse and get some advice.
  • Needing support with mental health is a very normal and often necessary part of the healing journey for victims.
  • It is important to engage fully in our healing journey, to go to the sources of pain and allow the emotions out, as well as focusing on being positive.
  • You may be triggered by things that other people may do, It is good to understand and acknowledge when you are triggered and know that this is part of your healing journey.
     

If you would like to contact Naomi Brown please use the links below.

Landing Page: https://instabio.cc/Harmonybusinessandlife?fbclid=IwAR3-VymRBoIQNpjfVlV9G0copgH25-YcWZ_fSOSgUvC__9FvwVSYHlHDH7s

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/harmonybusinessandlifesolutions/@ Richie Cloete

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/harmonybusinessandlifecoaching/?

 

I hope this interview inspires you to rise and shine.

Subscribe. Enjoy. Share. Sending love and light, Sandy J

CAUTION: If you feel unsafe at any time please STOP LISTENING. You can come back anytime you are in a safe place to listen to the rest of the Podcast. YOUR SAFETY is the most important thing to consider.

If you are in immediate DANGER call the Police.

NOTE OF ENCOURAGEMENT: If you are struggling with your metal health please reach out for support with some form of counselling, therapy, or coaching.  If you don’t know where to start to find a counsellor, a good place to start is to talk to your Doctor. There are also many online counselling supports now available. If the Support Person is not a good fit for you, try another and another, until you have one that is the right fit for you. And don't forget, I help women to heal and grow, and help them to meet their challenges head on, to move towards a life they love. 

BEFORE YOU GO….

  • If you listen to the Podcast and you like it, please SUBSCRIBE, you will automatically be updated with new episodes as soon as they are available.

 

  • If you like the episode, please leave a REVIEW for other people to know that this has value.

 

  • If you know of anyone you think this Podcast might help, please SHARE it.
  • To get a COMPLIMENTARY DISCOVER CALL, click this link 
  • To get an ENERGETIC HEALING session with me, click this link 
  • To get a ONE on ONE COACHING CONSULTING session with me, click this link 

 

  • Come join us to be a part of the Private Rise Up with Tiaras Tears and Triumphs Facebook Group click this link

 

Until next time, stay well and stay safe.

Sending you love, light, peace and joy,

 

Sandy J

Ep 34 -Why safety = survival

Ep 34 -Why safety = survival

February 28, 2021

You know my aim is to help you rise to your highest value.

Your safety is priceless. You cannot put a price on your life, but if we don't put boundaries in place in our life this leaves us open to being attacked.

And that is why this latest episode of Tiaras Tears and Triumphs focuses on boundaries, how to set safe boundaries, why we need boundaries in our life and when we need help to support us in keeping a safe boundary in place.

You will often hear me say your safety is the most important thing to consider.

When it comes to domestic abuse safety = survival.

Thankfully we all have an internal alarm built into us which sets off the fight flight response when we sense danger.

However, when dealing with abusive relationships this faculty can be masked by many factors. 

And we may also resist getting help and support for a whole variety of reasons.

To find out more, tune in on one of the links provided. 

There are tons of actionable tips to takeaway from this episode, so please don't miss it.

And remember you don't have to go through your challenges on your own.

And if and when you are ready you can look me up at www.sandyj.com.au to come do some inner and outer work to get your life back on the right track.

The biggest thing is I don't want you to feel as though you have to go through all the hard times on your own.

Sending you love, light and wishing you well and most of all stay safe.

If you want to get started with your healing journey click this Link 

 

TOP TIPS AND TAKEAWAYS

  • You need boundaries to keep you safe.
  • Your fight flight instinct is there to alert you that something is making you feel unsafe.
  • When the trust you have in yourself becomes eroded you lose confidence in your ability to listen to your fight flight instinct.
  • Just because you don’t know where to start with getting support to help you put healthy boundaries in place does not mean you can’t tap into support.
  • You may be buying into love bombing after being abused which stops you from getting support to keep you safe.
  • Look at the red flags with examples shown to help you identify if these things are happening in your situation (tune into episode 32 for examples)
  • If the perpetrator is physically violent you should see support from professional services who can help to put safe boundaries around yourself.
  • When you are experiencing physical abuse the safest boundary you may be able to put around yourself may be to physically leave, even if it means going into a refuge or safe house.
  • Having an escape plan is empowering as it will help you stay safe if you are ever in imminent danger.
  • If you are in a non-physically violent relationship you may be able to stay in your home and start putting your safe boundaries around yourself, but you may still need some support with this. 
  • Boundaries offer you security and you will get this security once you are able to set boundaries and hold people accountable if they disregard your boundaries.
  • You have a right to determine your personal boundaries.
  • You have a right to put boundaries around yourself.
  • Narcissists will avoid consequences at all costs.
  • The real power in setting boundaries is to help you keep harmful people out of your life.

Subscribe. Enjoy. Share. Sending love and light, Sandy J

CAUTION: If you feel unsafe at any time please STOP LISTENING. You can come back anytime you are in a safe place to listen to the rest of the Podcast. YOUR SAFETY is the most important thing to consider.

If you are in immediate DANGER call the Police.

NOTE OF ENCOURAGEMENT: If you are struggling with your metal health please reach out for support with some form of counselling, therapy, or coaching.  If you don’t know where to start to find a counsellor, a good place to start is to talk to your Doctor. There are also many online counselling supports now available. If the Support Person is not a good fit for you, try another and another, until you have one that is the right fit for you. And don't forget, I help women to heal and grow, and help them to meet their challenges head on, to move towards a life they love. 

BEFORE YOU GO….

  • If you listen to the Podcast and you like it, please SUBSCRIBE, you will automatically be updated with new episodes as soon as they are available.

 

  • If you like the episode, please leave a REVIEW for other people to know that this has value.

 

  • If you know of anyone you think this Podcast might help, please SHARE it.

 

  • If you want to CONNECT or DO SOME COACHING OR HEALING WORK with me, or approach me to share your story and your message click this link 

 

  • If you want to be a part of the Private Rise Up with Tiaras Tears and Triumphs Facebook Group click this link

 

Until next time, stay well and stay safe.

Sending you love, light, peace and joy,

 

Sandy J

 

Ep 33 - Why healing your life from abuse starts with you

Ep 33 - Why healing your life from abuse starts with you

February 21, 2021

Today I want to talk about your healing.

You may have heard that the physical wounds from abuse heal far more quickly than the emotional and psychological wounds of the traumas experienced in abusive situations.

And there is good reason that this is the case.

And it's not your fault, because you may be completely unaware of how to even go about healing on the inside after all the hurts and wounds you have experienced.

And this internal pain because we feel it, but we don't see it, like we do a bruise or other types of superficial or topical wounds, is easily ignored, or masked. 

And when we feel the pain of those internal wounds we carry as a result of the trauma and damage we have been through, we will suppress it when we feel it rising up, because it is too painful and frightening to face.

And so we turn to escapes which help us block out and escape the pain.

Things like shopping, social media, alcohol, cigarettes, comfort eating, not eating and maybe even using other harmful substances.

These things don't do anything to address the pain, but they help us forget about the pain for awhile.

So on top of the abusive person in our lives hurting us, we are also hurting ourselves too.

I get it because I have been there.

I have been on a self-development path since I was in my teens and yet so many of the things I was seeking seemed to elude me.

Those big questions like what is my purpose seemed to be always just out of my reach.

It seemed that my path was learning life's lessons the hard way.

And it has taken me year's to figure out that instead of being my own worst enemy which I had been for many year's, I had to heal myself and heal my life by becoming my own best friend.

For year's I had put myself down the bottom of the list of priorities and put everyone else ahead of me, whether that be my children, my partners, my parents, or basically anyone who asked anything of me.

I was a YES person. I said YES, even when I really wanted to say NO, even when the thing I said YES to compromised me and made me feel sick to the stomach doing. I didn't want to appear selfish by saying NO.

For a long time I beat myself up by turning to things like cigarettes as an escape, I was in physical pain almost all of the time.

This pain stemmed in part from a physical syndrome I was born with, but was magnified by the compounded stress and anxiety I was feeling almost all of my adult life. 

I didn't feel safe and I thought that high levels of stress was a normal part of life.

Although I learnt about mindfulness and had a good understanding of wholistic healing, I just could not seem to beat the circumstances which were putting me under so much stress and anxiety.

I realised I was a victim of circumstance, but I didn't know what I needed to do to change this.

It was as if I was going a step forwards and then two steps back. I didn't feel as though I was getting ahead with all the wisdom and knowledge that I had, i felt as though I was going backwards.

Maybe you see some of yourself in the things I have been saying.

The good thing is, that I did breakthrough the lesson which had eluded me and I want to share it with you. 

My message to you is that you can heal your life.

So now, I am going to talk about some common traits that are consistent with individuals who have been narcissistically abused.

See if any of these speak to you

- have suffered from abuse, or fear abuse, or have a strong aversion to people who are abusive

- work really hard to keep security in your life and don't hesitate cleaning up messes that other people make which could threated your security

- have a high level of integrity, and don't like people thinking badly of you, and are very disturbed if someone thinks you are a bad person

- find it hard to say no and keep giving even when it feels bad

- find it hard to receive from others and you are usually the person who does the hard jobs

- are highly intelligent and can work out a solution in most areas of your life.

- feel your worth is measured by how capable you are at achieving your goals and you struggle to know that you are lovable and acceptable to others just for being you

- you are very hard on yourself and you will generally criticise yourself for things you haven't achieved, rather than appreciate and love yourself for who you are right now

- are very independent and capable, yet feel empty and alone and deeply want a relationship when single

- find it difficult to speak up for yourself and create healthy boundaries

- respect security, strive hard for it and don't want to give it up

- try to win approval from others by making them like you, or wanting them to admire your capabilities.

- don't want to be alone and are fearful that you may never meet another person who you feel so connected to, and you therefore feel you have to make your relationship work despite abuse.

- have a tendency to want to fix and sort out other people's problems rather than feel into and sort out your own uncomfortable emotions

- see yourself as an empath and tend to put other people's needs before your own and believe that to be virtuous

- struggle to see the value in providing yourself with inner healing time, feeling this isn't as productive as doing tasks

- feel guilty when taking time out and doing things for yourself

- tend to take responsibility for people rather than allowing them to learn through error and take responsibility for themselves.

- find that you didn't receive unconditional love, true connections and understanding or approval from your parents

Are you relating to any of these.

I know I can put a tick to every one of those things I've mentioned as being a character trait I possess. 

So don't feel alone, or feel bad if you have ticked off as many things as I have.

The reason I refer to these points which I learnt about in my studies to understand why I fell victim to not 1, but 2 abusive relationships, is because I found this information really helpful to gain an understanding that these characteristics were shared by anyone who falls victim to abusive relationships.

What this did for me and I hope does for you too is to help see and understand why I was falling prey to being a victim.

And this information is empowering because it shows where we can change to bring about different outcomes for our future, rather than going around in the same circle and wondering why we can't move forward.

Now I have learnt many things from many sources on this path of self-discovery.

But the single most useful lesson and the one which is the real key to healing your life and bringing about change is that the wounds inside us need to be tended to and healed.

Of all the relationships in your life, the most important one to get right is the relationship you have with yourself.

When you get that relationship right, all your relationships will transform.

I am not saying that you can change a narcissistic person, but your inner work will repel them and you will attract relationships with people who value you as much as you value yourself.

So where do you begin with your healing?

The first thing you do is change your focus.

Instead of putting all your energy into the narcissist and start putting the majority of your energy into healing yourself and your life, the more you do this the more you will bring about the transformation you are seeking.

This is just the starting point, there will be other steps you will need to take to free yourself of all the limiting beliefs you held which no longer serve you.

You will need to dedicate the time it takes to heal all old festering wounds which have been holding you back for all these years.

You will need to turn up for yourself every day.

You will need support, just as we need doctors with expertise in different physical ailments, you will need support from people with experience in healing internal wounds, which have lodged themselves in our subconscious mind, our muscle memory, at a cellular level and an epigenetic level.

The good news is that there is a way to heal.

You don't have to go through the next umpteen years with that answer to your healing being just out of your reach.

This is what will help you transform your life on every conceivable level and provide you with the stability that you have so long craved for.

This is what will help change you to make you open to attracting good into your life.

And what will help you find the confidence to dream and set goals to work towards.

This is your path to inner peace.

We are all on a path and you may not agree with what I say.

I know that at certain times along my own journey if somebody would have said to me you just have to learn to be your own best friend and get to the root of all the things which are causing pain and suffering in your life, I would have said, you clearly don't understand what I am going through. I might have even felt they were mean and uncaring to tell me that my ability to succeed and find happiness lay squarely with me changing myself by getting to the root of the problems, by spending time with my inner child, by forgiving myself, by loving myself.

So if you feel like this, I get it.

But if you could just make a start with small acts of self love where you acknowledge your value by doing things which really say to yourself that you care enough to take care of yourself.

Whatever it is, whether it is going for regular walks to get fresh air and exercise and calm your nervous system.

Or say some affirmations telling yourself that you are beautiful and lovable.

Or you spend some time each day journaling.

Or you set aside a small percentage of any income just for you to send a message to yourself that you are worth setting aside some money for.

Or you eat more healthy.

Or you drink less and less often.

Or you cut back on smoking and start working on a plan to quit.

Or you get online and find a free online counselling service for domestic violence.

Or you call a friend and organise a catch-up to send yourself a message that you are worth having good friends.

So much of the time I do interviews on my podcast.

And some of you may not know that I am a women's transformation coach, consultant and healer.

I know that money can be a real block for many women who have been through abusive relationships.

This was true for me and when I was searching for answers to help me deal with the challenges I was facing when I was in the throws of an abusive relationship I would listen to self-help and personal development audio books and programs.

That is what inspired me to create this podcast.

I knew how much it meant to me at that time to be able to tap into any information which would help me just get through the day.

I wanted solutions for the bigger problems, but I was happy just being able to tap into something that would help me get through another day.

There were plenty of days when I didn't even want to face the day.

There were plenty of days when I just wanted to give up.

And I know now if it wasn't for those audio books and programs I would have neglected myself far more than what I did. I would have done far more self-destructive things to myself. At that time, I didn't like myself very much for not coping and for my life being such a mess. And I didn't see a way out or much of a future.

Any inner work I did on myself or outer work I did on my situation always paid off. But I needed to get the breakthrough and really love and accept myself for who I am.

So if you are where I was and don't have any financial resources right now. I hope with all my heart that this podcast is giving you some hope and some help to work through the hard times.

And if and when you are ready you can look me up at www.sandyj.com.au to come do some inner and outer work to get your life back on the right track.

The biggest thing is I don't want you to feel as though you have to go through all the hard times on your own.

Sending you love, light and wishing you well and most of all stay safe.

If you want to get started with your healing journey click this link 

TOP 10 TIPS AND TAKEAWAYS

1) the most important relationship you will ever need to heal and nurture is your relationship with yourself

2) we've all been our own worst enemy at times in our lives, now it's time to try to become your own best friend

3) it is ok to say no when you feel like you are expected to say yes

4) don't feel guilty when you take out time for yourself, this is not selfish, this is called self-care. If you don't care for yourself, then other's will think it's ok not to care for you too.

4) the pain from the traumas you have been through can fester and be the root problem of your suffering

5) if you neglect your inner wounds, they will not heal and they will manifest in painful situations in your life

6) Start with small acts of self-love that send clear messages to your subconscious that you are worth loving

7) The first person you need to forgive in your life is yourself

8) You need to turn up for yourself every day

9) Don't think badly of yourself, you have done the best you could with what you have and what you know. Remember mistakes are just opportunities for growth.

10) Accept help. Get support in your transformation journey, you don't have to figure it all out on your own and you don't have to prove your worth to anyone. The people who will help you are no less, or no more valuable than you are. 

Subscribe. Enjoy. Share. Sending love and light, Sandy J

CAUTION: If you feel unsafe at any time please STOP LISTENING. You can come back anytime you are in a safe place to listen to the rest of the Podcast. YOUR SAFETY is the most important thing to consider.

If you are in immediate DANGER call the Police.

NOTE OF ENCOURAGEMENT: If you are struggling with your metal health please reach out for support with some form of counselling, therapy, or coaching.  If you don’t know where to start to find a counsellor, a good place to start is to talk to your Doctor. There are also many online counselling supports now available. If the Support Person is not a good fit for you, try another and another, until you have one that is the right fit for you. And don't forget, I help women to heal and grow, and help them to meet their challenges head on, to move towards a life they love. 

BEFORE YOU GO….

  • If you listen to the Podcast and you like it, please SUBSCRIBE, you will automatically be updated with new episodes as soon as they are available.

 

  • If you like the episode, please leave a REVIEW for other people to know that this has value.

 

  • If you know of anyone you think this Podcast might help, please SHARE it.

 

  • If you want to CONNECT or DO SOME COACHING OR HEALING WORK with me, or approach me to share your story and your message click this link 

 

  • If you want to be a part of the Private Rise Up with Tiaras Tears and Triumphs Facebook Group click this link

 

Until next time, stay well and stay safe.

Sending you love, light, peace and joy,

 

Sandy J

 

Ep 32 - Why victims stay when they should go + What to do to heal from abuse

Ep 32 - Why victims stay when they should go + What to do to heal from abuse

February 14, 2021

EPISODE NOTES FOR THE RICHIE CLOETE INTERVIEW

WHY VICTIMS STAY WHEN THEY SHOULD GO + WHAT TO DO TO HEAL FROM ABUSE

On today’s show I have Richie Cloete, Social Worker, Actor, Producer, Director, Radio Presenter, Consultant, an all-around powerhouse of a person with a big heart.

He helps advocate for gender-based violence and is associated with the Triangle Project, advocating for the LGBTQ community.

And I’ll let you in on a little secret, Richie is helping me put together a 3 day online workshop to help victims and survivors of gender based violence reclaim their voice, themselves and their space.

With 20 years of experience with creating and running workshops, I am super excited about the work that we are doing together to help women heal the thing they need most to help them ask for help and support and to put those safe boundaries around themselves to give them the space they need to heal and rebuild their lives after abuse.

We dive deep into why victims get caught in a cycle of abuse and why it is hard for them to leave, even when their safety is at risk.

We talk about what to do to be able to heal from the pain and the trauma and how to put healthy boundaries in place to break free from the cycle of abuse.

None of what is contained in this message is to make you feel bad about yourself, there are no judgments.

This podcast aims to remind you of how precious you are and that you deserve to feel safe, secure, and loved in a relationship.

Remember that every day is a new day and a new opportunity to move in the direction of your dreams. Every day is a clean slate to start fresh.

So, hang in there and keep striving to regain your personal power.

For anyone interested in getting some coaching support or energetic healing to help heal your life and get your life back on track, please contact me.

I work online via zoom face to face calls, which allows you the flexibility to work with me wherever you happen to be located and wherever you are comfortable to have private confidential conversations.

If you would love to get unstuck and know deep down you will achieve far more by getting the support of a transformational coach, I would love to help you get your life back on the right track.

If you want to fast track your journey to triumph over your trials, click this link 

Here are the top tips of today’s episode:

  • In the cycle of abuse, you will see the perpetrator apologise and make promises never to hurt the victim again. This then makes the victim feel beholden to give the perpetrator another chance. This does not mean the perpetrator will be able to live up to their promise.
  • Behavioural change will only be effective when the perpetrator is completely ready to take responsibility for their behaviour and engage with their program to change daily.
  • Remember you are coming from a space of love and this is the thing that invokes a strong desire to for you to stay and try and work things out even when you are being abused.
  • Understand you can’t fix someone else, but you can do something to fix yourself and save yourself. Start by looking inside yourself and say I need help; I need support to help me get away.
  • Your dignity is your own. You are not inferior to your partner or any other person.
  • Your worth has never changed, you are still a whole person, you just need to remember this.
  • Just because we give of ourselves to others, does not entitle other people to use or abuse us.
  • See crisis’ as an opportunity for you do something to stand up for yourself.
  • Healthy boundaries are vital to keep you safe and prevent people from taking advantage of you.
  • If your safety is at risk then seek help, don’t try and manage the situation on your own. No matter how scared, confused or ashamed you might feel about your situation don’t suffer alone in silence. This is the time you need help and support from others who can put legal boundaries in place to help keep you safe and keep your abuser accountable for the things they do.
  • Have safety measures in place in your home. Just as you would have an evacuation plan in a school, have one for your home. There are lots of free resources online with suggested safety plans which can help you get prepared for emergencies.
  • As a human being it is destined that we will get hurt and disappointed, so don’t hold onto shame for the things you have suffered and think this pain has to exist in our lives forever.
  • How we respond to the damages we experience will contribute to determining how long you suffer.
  • Dark and light cannot exist as the same time. Keep reaching for the silver lining any dark clouds.

If you would like to contact Richie Cloete please use the links below.

Website

Facebook: @ Richie Cloete

Instagram: @cloeterichie

Mobile +27 725241094 for calls or Whatsapp

 

I hope this interview inspires you to rise and shine.

Subscribe. Enjoy. Share. Sending love and light, Sandy J

CAUTION: If you feel unsafe at any time please STOP LISTENING. You can come back anytime you are in a safe place to listen to the rest of the Podcast. YOUR SAFETY is the most important thing to consider.

If you are in immediate DANGER call the Police.

NOTE OF ENCOURAGEMENT: If you are struggling with your metal health please reach out for support with some form of counselling, therapy, or coaching.  If you don’t know where to start to find a counsellor, a good place to start is to talk to your Doctor. There are also many online counselling supports now available. If the Support Person is not a good fit for you, try another and another, until you have one that is the right fit for you. And don't forget, I help women to heal and grow, and help them to meet their challenges head on, to move towards a life they love. 

BEFORE YOU GO….

  • If you listen to the Podcast and you like it, please SUBSCRIBE, you will automatically be updated with new episodes as soon as they are available.

 

  • If you like the episode, please leave a REVIEW for other people to know that this has value.

 

  • If you know of anyone you think this Podcast might help, please SHARE it.

 

  • To CONNECT or WORK or get an ENERGETIC HEALING session with me, or approach me to share your story and your message click this link 

 

  • Come join us to be a part of the Private Rise Up with Tiaras Tears and Triumphs Facebook Group click this link

 

Until next time, stay well and stay safe.

Sending you love, light, peace and joy,

 

Sandy J

Ep 31 - Sometimes angels wave red flags to keep you safe - A Cautionary Tale

Ep 31 - Sometimes angels wave red flags to keep you safe - A Cautionary Tale

February 7, 2021

EPISODE NOTES FOR THE RICHARD CELESTIN INTERVIEW

SOMETIMES ANGELS WAVE RED FLAGS TO KEEP YOU SAFE!

This episode is a cautionary tale. On today’s show I have Richard Celestin, brother of Cathiana Lisa B whose life was tragically cut short by her abusive partner in November 2021.

Cathiana is survived by her two beautiful daughters.

Richard does not want his sister’s death to be in vain. He is using his voice to speak up about his sister’s journey through abuse in the hope that it will help others to break free from the cycle before there is irreparable harm done.

Richard is candid in sharing the types of abuse his sister endured, all in the hope that it will help other women caught in a similar cycle of abuse see the red flags for the real danger that they are, so that they will reach out for support to help them find a path to lead them to safety, healing and a future, that may not be theirs if they stay.

For those who have left and you may have doubts about your choice to break away, this may be a reminder of why you made that choice and help you to be strong to forge on in life without being drawn back into the cycle.

Breakups and then reconciliations are often part of the story of the cycle of abuse. On average it takes women up to 12 times before they finally break free from the abusive relationship and the cycle.

Each time the abuse escalates. The cycle can be difficult to see when you are the person in the cycle. So, don’t feel bad if you have been doubting your judgement, this is something which happens when you are being abused.

There are many forms of abuse and the cycle of abuse will often contain different forms of abuse simultaneously.

None of what is contained in this message is to make you feel bad about yourself, there are no judgments.

This podcast aims to remind you of how precious you are and that you deserve to feel safe, secure and loved in a relationship.

Remember that every day is a new day and a new opportunity to move in the direction of your dreams. Every day is a clean slate to start fresh.

So, hang in there and keep striving to regain your personal power.

For anyone interested in getting some coaching support to get your life back on track in 2021, please contact me.

I work online via zoom face to face calls, which allows you the flexibility to work with me wherever you happen to be located and wherever you are comfortable to have private confidential conversations.

If you would love to get unstuck and know deep down you will achieve far more by getting the support of a transformational coach, I would love to help you get your life back on the right track.

If you want to fast track your journey to triumph over your trials, click this link 

Here are the top 10 tips of today’s episode

  • Look out for the tell-tale signs of abuse like damaging property or threatening to suicide if you break up with your partner. Although they may sometimes appear to me messages of undying love for you, they are indicators of emotional and psychological manipulation, coercion, and abuse.
  • There is never an excuse for your partner to hit you or hurt you.
  • If you are being made to disconnect from important relationships with family, friends, and work colleagues this is a clear sign of isolation abuse.
  • Be wary of any veiled threats, to your safety, or the safety of your children, or your pets, or your belongings. For example, that the abuser threatens to do away with you if you every leave them. This is a huge red flag that you need lots of supports from experienced people and services to put safety plans in place and have an escape plan.
  • If family offers you a refuge don’t dismiss this because you feel like you are letting your abusive partner win by driving you away from your home and your things. These things can be replaced and you can rebuild your life. This is a great time to seek extra support from professional services and authorities to help put legal boundaries around you to help you stay safe.
  • It is better to leave, than to stay when the cycle is escalating. You are irreplaceable.
  • You may be telling yourself that you can manage the situation, because you are used to being in survival mode and think that you can continue this way, but the cycle only gets worse. You can start to recover when you start seeking support to break the cycle.
  • Try and see the warning signs for what they are. If you think that something that is happening to you might be a form of abuse, which might indicate that you are in a cycle of abuse, find a domestic violence free online counselling service to talk about your situation and get some advice about what your next step might look like.
  • If drugs and alcohol are a part of the problem with the abusive person, the chances of breaking the cycle of abuse decrease and the risks of violence increase.
  • Love is not supposed to hurt. All relationships have conflict whether they are healthy or unhealthy. But you should grow and feel stronger on the other side of conflict, not disempowered.

BONUS

If you are a parent, ask yourself, if your child was in your situation, would this be something you would be comfortable in? Would you accept that for your child? If the answer is no, because you feel like your child deserves better, or deserves to be happy, then why not you? 

If you would like to contact Richard Celestin please use the links below.

Email: Richard.celestin@gmail.com

I hope this interview inspires you to rise and shine.

Subscribe. Enjoy. Share. Sending love and light, Sandy J

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NOTE OF ENCOURAGEMENT: If you are struggling with your metal health please reach out for support with some form of counselling, therapy, or coaching.  If you don’t know where to start to find a counsellor, a good place to start is to talk to your Doctor. There are also many online counselling supports now available. If the Support Person is not a good fit for you, try another and another, until you have one that is the right fit for you. And don't forget, I help women to heal and grow, and help them to meet their challenges head on, to move towards a life they love. 

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Sending you love, light, peace and joy,

 

Sandy J

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